One of my coworkers had a baby last week and another one is 6months pregnant now. At work yesterday the one who is pregnant asked if she could talk to me about some things. We had a GREAT time talking and laughing. Here are some things I told her that I wish someone had told me. My NEW thoughts on:
BEING PREGNANT: She feels guilty because she HATES being pregnant but admits she isn't ready for the baby to be here. Though I enjoyed being pregnant, I do not miss it at all. We both felt better knowing that we weren't alone on this topic. My thought is..... I don't miss feeling him kick because I get to see it in real life now!
MATERNITY LEAVE: Boy was I wrong about how this would go. I knew I would be tired but thought it would be nice to be home. I was going to cook, learn to sew on my new machine I got for Christmas, take naps when the baby slept, and enjoy nursing my new bundle of joy. In reality, I didn't cook until the past 2 weeks, the sewing machine is still in the box, I couldn't nap because there was too much to do, and the doctor (along with my family and Danny) decided it was more important for me to take the medication I needed to be able to function than it was for Fletcher to breastfeed. I laugh now when I think about all of this. I can't believe I thought I was going to learn to sew! WOW!
OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES: My house is a MESS. One of my sweet coworkers helped me clean Tuesday. (don't tell her but the load of laundry is still in the washing machine and today is Thursday) Poor Lucy! I took her to the groomer 2 weeks ago and when I went to pick her up the lady said " Paige, I found pine straw in her fur and what seemed to be part of a bush" I told her I don't doubt it. The poor dog is so neglected. I have even had thoughts of giving her away when she barks and wakes my precious man up. Boy have things changed!!!
MOTHERLY INSTINCT: She says she cried hysterically while putting the car seat in because she didn't automatically know how to do it. She thought she should magically know how to do these things because after all, she is going to be a mother and all her friends knew how. Well, I told her they are lying. Danny and I put the car seat in the weekend I was going in to be induced. We had to read the instructions many times and I don't think we spoke to each other for a while due to frustration.
THE NURSERY: I had to have everything perfect. I had my sweet daddy ship my grandmother's rocking chair to Las Vegas and made Danny put the thing back together and paint it. (we didn't speak after this either...see previous post:) It sure looked cute but guess where it is now, back in pieces in the garage!! We bought a more practical glider (that doesn't match) and are much happier.
The nanny gets Fletcher to take 2.5 hour naps. I begged for the secret and she said first and foremost the room needs to be dark. Well, our adorable nursery now has dark towels taped to the wall behind the curtains to keep out the light until we get the blackout shade. It may look white trash but he sure sleeps better.
EATING: My friend asked, how do you know how much to feed him and how often? I told her the book says he should take 4oz every 3-4 hours at his age. My child eats 5-6oz every 2.5 to 5 hours depending on when he's hungry. In the beginning, I REALLY worried about this but he is peeing, pooping, and growing well. (the book is now in the nightstand drawer:)
FEELINGS: She asked, "Was it love at first site?" My response, "Are you kidding, it took me weeks to love this little guy." I felt like someone dropped off this baby and made me take care of him. I still feel terrible about this but after talking to others I know I'm not alone. (now I could eat him up!!) I took care of our son because I had to not because I wanted to. My coworker that just had her baby is struggling with this and got choked up when I told her it was ok. We are all going to be great mothers in our own time!!!
WORKING: I am SO HAPPY to be back at work. I worried that this meant I was a bad mother but once again, I was wrong. I am a better mother because I now have the chance to miss my little guy and get EXCITED to hang out with him. Not everyone is "stay at home" material. When I picked him up today he smiled at me and melted my heart!
These are just a few of the things we discussed. It seems that while I was pregnant everyone had amazing things to say about motherhood and now that I have gone through my ordeal I find lots of people who went through the same thing. I have learned that you do whatever works for you and your baby. I am LOVING my little family!
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